What Makes the Best Toilet Paper?
Toilet paper isn’t just about wiping—it’s about comfort, strength, value, and not clogging your pipes (or leaving lint everywhere). Based on expert tests plus real-user feedback from Reddit and recent X discussions, the “best” depends on your priorities: luxury softness, budget bulk, eco-friendliness, or septic safety. Key factors include ply count (2-ply is standard for balance), absorbency, disintegration speed, and lint-free performance.
1. Charmin Ultra Soft Cushiony Touch Toilet Paper

4.8 out of 5
Family Mega Rolls, Exceptional Value: This pack includes 30 Family Mega Rolls, each with 267 sheets, providing long-lasting comfort and convenience.
Our Unique Cushiony Touch: Enjoy toilet paper that is luxuriously soft yet strong, giving you a gentle, reliable experience every time.
2. Scott 1000 Toilet Paper

4.7 out of 5
Stock Up with 32 Rolls: Each Scott 1000 roll has 1000 sheets of soft, reliable 1-ply toilet paper. Fewer Roll Changes: Long-lasting rolls give you more time between replacements. Fast-Dissolving & Durable: Designed to last twice as long and dissolve 10x faster than national brand soft & strong mega rolls.
3. Quilted Northern Ultra Plush Toilet Paper

4.7 out of 5
Triple-Layer Softness: Every sheet has 3 cushiony layers for a plush, luxurious feel. Fewer Roll Changes: With 255 sheets per Mega Roll—equal to 4 regular rolls—you’ll restock less often. 24-Roll Pack: Enjoy long-lasting comfort and softness with 24 Quilted Northern Ultra Plush Mega Rolls
4. Angel Soft Toilet Paper

4.7 out of 5
Long-Lasting Mega Rolls: Enjoy soft, durable toilet paper that keeps your household stocked. Eco-Friendly & Septic Safe: Made from sustainably sourced SFI-certified trees and safe for septic systems. Value Pack: Each pack includes 8 Mega Rolls, each with 320 2-ply sheets.
5. Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Toilet Paper

4.7 out of 5
9 Mega Rolls of Cottonelle Ultra Comfort: Each roll contains 244 sheets (231.3 sq. ft. total); packaging may vary. Our Softest Ever: Made with our softest CleaningRipples™ texture yet, this toilet paper helps you feel luxuriously clean and comfortably dry.
6. Presto! 2-Ply Ultra-Soft Toilet Paper

4.6 out of 5
- 24 Mega Rolls (4 Packs of 6): Each roll contains 308 2-ply sheets for long-lasting use.
- Same Great Quality: Manufactured with new technology while maintaining the same sheet count and reliable performance.
- Septic-Safe: Safe for use in septic systems.
7. Betterway Bamboo Toilet Paper

4.5 out of 5
Premium 3-Ply Comfort: Our bamboo toilet paper combines strength and 2X absorption with Neat-Tear™ technology. The dual-texture design offers a smooth side for comfort and a textured side for maximum cleaning—set a new standard in hygiene. Safe & Sustainable: Gentle on sensitive skin, unscented, dye-free, and PFAS-free. Made from 100% natural, non-GMO bamboo, it’s eco-friendly and chemical-free.
Pro Tips
- Test for Your Setup: Drop a square in water—if it dissolves in 30 seconds, it’s septic-safe.
- Where to Buy: Amazon for variety (ecoHiny bamboo is a bestseller), Costco/Sam’s for bulk deals, or direct from Who Gives a Crap for subscriptions (20% off recurring).
- Sustainability Hack: Switch to bamboo/recycled to save trees—it’s as soft as premium now.
If you’re prioritizing one thing (e.g., zero lint or max green cred), let me know for a deeper dive!